25 things I’ve learnt by 25.

I’ve always written about makeup and such but here’s something different. In a couple of hours, when the clock strikes 12, I will be 25. Although some of you may think “Ah, you’re still young, please enjoy your youth!”, I don’t completely understand what I’m feeling. Whatever happened in the past, no matter good or bad, makes me the person I am today. I’ve learnt, I’ve lost, I’ve stumbled and fall, but at the end of the day, as cliched as it may sound, I’ve picked myself up and picked up encouragement from my dearly loved ones to simply… begin again.

1. Everything is going to be okay.

Many people don’t understand this but I have constant anxiety about a few things. I’ve learnt to take a deep breath, pray and think “Everything is going to be okay”. If something that you are going through isn’t going your way, it’s not okay yet. But trust and have faith, “Be strong and courageous, do not be afraid or tremble at them, for the LORD your God is the one who goes with you. He will not fail or forsake you.” Deuteronomy 31:62

2. Whatever you do, people are always watching.

I live in a town where gossip travels faster than a flight to Singapore. Named one of the countries known only spreading hoaxes/fake news, I completely agree with it. Most of the time, not only will they watch what you’ve done, they’ll also add opinions/assumptions of their own. So be very careful.

3. Even if you have good intentions, not everyone is willing to reciprocate.

Say if you do quite a lot for a friend you’ve been close with, and say she doesn’t repay your kindness. Don’t be too shocked. Just know who to truly invest your time and effort on.

4. Not to be quick to call someone out.

Sometimes when I think negatively of someone because of an action that is misunderstood, I usually take a step back and think whether I’m overthinking or not. I have called out on a few people by mistake and I’ve lost a few friends along the way, which I totally regret. Now, I try to calm myself down as much as I can, even giving it a day or two until I decide to talk to them to clear things up. Sometimes I don’t do anything about it as at the end of the day, I realize that it’s just me and my own emotions.

5. Staying pass an expiration date will only make everything more sour.

This applies to everything – your job, your relationships with a significant other, with friends, etc. I can’t emphasize more on how much I learnt about this. Sometimes you will feel lighter when you leave some things behind because that’s where they belong – the past.

6. Relationships takes two to clap.

I think this ties to the idea of ‘give and take’. If everything is one-sided, it will not work out.

7. Trust is one foundation of a relationship never to be discounted/neglected.

It’s true when they say that trust is like a ceramic plate, break it and it takes a long time to stick it all back together and it will never be the same.

8. Compassion over Comparison

9. No amount of money can buy us happiness.

I learnt this the hard way. Take my advice and use the money for a better use, say a class/or a new found hobby. Shopping isn’t gonna heal your scars because at the end of the day, you’ll only be left with a couple of full paper bags from Sephora, H&M, Zara… but you’re empty inside.

10. If a guy’s priorities isn’t in sync with yours, it’s probably not gonna work out.

I learnt that dating someone takes a lot of effort and you gotta be in sync. Your priorities should match and you must be willing to work towards the same goal.

11. Once a cheater, always a cheater.

Enough said. Trust me, I dated a one.

12. Apple doesn’t fall far from its tree.

Trust me again on this. To put it simply, not only doesn’t the apple fall far from the tree, the reason why the apply is even there in the first place is about of the tree’s roots. To put it even in a simpler language, someone is the product of what their parents have taught them. They are supposed to be the root, an example to show their children who to be in this world. Not all parents are good parents.

13. Instagram’s reality is just an illusion.

Don’t believe Instagram, half the things shown are there to create an illusion to us that we have to have this or go wherever or own whatever for us to be happy.

14. It’s okay to ask for help.

Many people are so scared to ask for help and others disregard their friends when they really are asking for help. I’ve learnt to try my very best to be there because I’ve gone through so many hurdles in life and the reason how I got back up is with my friends’ support.

15. Jakarta is a damn small town.

Be a slut and see how people talk about you.

16. Not everyone has the same opinions as you do.

… but that’s okay. It doesn’t mean you should stop being friends with them.

17. Wasting your life away isn’t a solution.

Drinking, partying til dawn. I see way too many of my friends doing that just to escape from it all. Not a solution. It changes you to be someone worse.

18. Know your morals and priorities.

Stick to them. Pray about them. Achieve them.

19. You are not entitled to anything.

You’re not. You’re birthed into this earth because of YOUR parents and now it’s time to give back to them.

20. Let go of negativity and anger as it weighs you down.

Like I’ve emphasized so much in this post – let go of things you have been fighting for for too long but just doesn’t seem to work. You’ll only falling down deeper into the rabbit hole, and it’ll be harder for you to get out of it.

21. Yes to more opportunities.

A date, a work trip, a new hobby, a new friend, a change in environment. Yes, yes, yes!

22. Loyalty will take you far.

…. and loyalty breeds the best, most genuine of friends.

23. Love is sometimes not enough.

Staying with a guy who doesn’t make much effort, doesn’t show that he is crazy about you, doesn’t show that you are part of his life because you love him is dumb. Especially when you think you aren’t supposed to break up because you’ve been through a lot… Stop it. You’re being stupid. Don’t make the same mistake as I did as your boyfriend goes out to find next alternatives while you stay at home miserable off your ass.

24. Never give up.

Be strong and start again everyday. Everyday is a new opportunity to be a better, more positive person that radiates only the best energy.

25. Have fun.

Life’s short. Please have fun and make the most out of it 🙂

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